Life is filled with ups and downs, transitions and seasons. In all the busyness, it is easy to lose track of our priorities, and this never comes without consequence.
One of our greatest life transitions happened 6 years ago. We, as a family, just moved overseas. There were a lot of transitions going on, and as a result, a lot of strain on every relationship. We had a lot of learning to do. Not just the in-school learning (like language), but the life learning stuff. In fact, we felt as if we turned into preschoolers all over again. Some of you know just what it is like to revert to child-like ignorance when you’re really much closer to mid-life crisis. It is humbling.
About 2 years into our new life in this new country, we began to see the fruit of our ultra-busy lifestyle with jumbled priorities. Our relationships began to suffer. Mainly, our marriage relationship.
We had no time for one another, and we weren’t being careful to keep our marriage a priority. The day I realized that I didn’t even enjoy my time with my husband anymore, I knew things needed to change… and fast!
We had a lot of serious heart-to-hearts. We prayed through a lot of things, and sought wisdom.
There were a lot of things that needed attention, and we knew that we had let a lot of things go. This was going to be hard work, but we knew it would be worth it!
Sometimes though, even the smallest things make the greatest difference! Our spouse needs our attention. My husband needs to know, that second to God, he is my top priority! The same is true the other way around.
There are many ways to communicate this both in word, and action.
Today though, I want to focus on one small effort that we implemented that took conscious daily effort, but it’s pay off has been great!
The kiss that changed our marriage forever. At least, I hope it will be our forever.
We began to consciously implement kissing one another at the door. When he heads out for the day, I send him off with a kiss. When he returns home, same thing. Sometimes that kiss is more passionate, and sometimes less. It doesn’t matter, as long as I am focused on him, and he knows he is my priority. He is my superman!
How the Kiss Changed our Marriage
The more we did this, the more natural it became. The more natural it became, the more I enjoyed it and developed a confidence in his enjoyment of it as well. This also lead to a little bit of creativity on my part. That is, on certain days, the kiss maybe was a little heavier… making him anticipate coming back home. ;p
Here is a short list of 4 ways this kiss has changed our marriage, and all of them for the good
- It gives the assurance of our unconditional love, and desire to work things out in our marriage. In this way, it offers us daily accountability. If things aren’t going well, who wants to kiss? Remember that saying, “let’s kiss and make up”? Well, there is some truth in that. The kiss offers the hope that can lead to restoration. It reminds us that there is still something good, something wonderful here, and it is worth fighting for!
- It gives both of us something to look forward to when we come home. Even on the days when all else goes wrong, we know we are going to get that kiss at the end of the day.
- It gives us Confidence of our Spouses Love. It lifts up our spirit, and gives confidence of our spouses love for us. It eliminates much doubt, and self talk.
- It promotes purity in the marriage. I mentioned about creativity above. We can perfect a “certain” kiss that alludes to a blossoming, yet unfinished romance. A fabulous kiss is a pretty good security in engaging his romantic thoughts toward us throughout the day, and looking forward to other spectaculars of our love to be lavished upon him in the very foreseeable future. 😉
It’s just a small, practical change we made, but I am loving the heart change it demands. It has left me wondering, why didn’t I start this 14 years ago?
I’d love to hear your comments!